Broken Light
by BrokenLight
Summary: Have you ever been obsessed? I mean REALLY obsessed. The kind of obsessed where it's all you think about? All you care about? The kind of obsessed where it goes a bit to far? I have. This is my story. A story about a liking...that went a bit to far.....I
1. Chapter 1

Have you ever been obsessed? I mean REALLY obsessed. The kind of obsessed where it's all you ever think about? All you ever care about? The kind of obsessed where it just goes a little bit too far? I have.  
  
It wasn't suppose to happen. I just went to see a movie with my parents. And then I saw it again. And again. It was just a movie.  
  
That was about three years ago. At that point nothing seemed to be wrong. I just went to see a movie.  
  
Sure, it was a good movie. A very good movie. And I liked it a lot.  
  
I just went to see a movie.  
  
That's when I first saw him.  
  
I only knew anything about him because I felt bad. I actually felt bad that he was the only actor in the movie that I knew nothing about. So I found something out.  
  
I just went to see a movie!  
  
Nothing extraordinary. He seemed to be a good person. He had the same favorite band as me. Nothing special.  
  
And then it all came crumbling down. Everything.  
  
This is my story. A story about a liking... that went a bit too far.  
  
I just went to see a movie.  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
I was crushed. Two weeks of waiting. And for what? The show on The Beatles' Wives and Girlfriends wasn't on. It sucked. I had really wanted to see it. Really I did.  
  
Some stupid award show was on instead. I hate award shows. It was The BAFTAs.  
  
Well, now that they canceled my show... I thought I might as well watch this one. It's not like a had a choice now. Anyway, they were English. That was comforting.  
  
So I watched it. Some of the cast from the movie was there. You know the movie. That I just went to see. I got a little over excited. A bit hyper.  
  
And then I saw him. In the audience. With his friends. Before I even knew what was going on....  
  
Something happened. It wasn't support to happen. It shouldn't have happened. I should have stopped it. But I'm a fucking idiot.  
  
I made a sound. A sound I'd never made before in my life. Ever. A sound I shouldn't have made. Ever. Let's not go into detail. Let's just say it had a good connotation. For what it's worth.  
  
Where the hell did that come from?  
  
I didn't even know I knew that sound. But it had come out. That's when I knew something was wrong. The pessimist that I am, it was of course wrong. Wrong.  
  
What did it even mean?  
  
I never told anyone about it. Not ever. And it haunted me.  
  
Why had I done that? Did I fancy him? What? Wait...no?  
  
What did it mean?  
  
Why?  
  
And that my friend, was just the beginning. 


	2. Chapter 2

You know how when your in love - or in this case, think your in love - with someone it's suppose to be so wonderful? Flowers and butterflies. Chocolate and champagne.  
  
Isn't that what it's suppose to be?  
  
Well that's what I hear. That's what they tell you don't they? They probably find it amusing. Playing us like that.  
  
Because it isn't like that. At least for me.  
  
For me love is two things - pain and suffering.  
  
And, for instance, if you do not even know the person you love, it's all for nothing. Absolutely nothing.  
  
Maybe it's just a way to punish ourselves. If we're bad, we fall in love. And get are hearts puréed in a blender.  
  
And that pain will never go away.  
  
Like for me. I can't listen to certain songs anymore. Without that flashback. That pang. I can't eat Oreos either. The best cookie in the world, and I can't fucking eat it without breaking down.  
  
So much for love.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
After the incident I was confused. Very confused.  
  
But it had obviously been a mistake. A lapse of judgment. I tried to go on with my life.  
  
But why did it have to be a mistake? Maybe it was just...right.  
  
Little by little I noticed something was changing. I found myself thinking about him all the time.  
  
French class was the worst. I'd just sit there and write his name all over my binder Which is something I never do.  
  
I mean don't get me wrong. I've had crushes before. But I NEVER wrote someone's name all over my binder. And during school? Unheard of. I'm not like that. I'm not boy crazy. I don't write "Mrs. Rory Whatever" all over everything.  
  
I'm not like that.  
  
Or I wasn't.  
  
I started getting pangs. Yes pangs, literally. The kind of PANG where you're absolutely floored for a minute. Just floored. By how wonderful he is.  
  
But I couldn't tell anyone. Everyone knew. But I wasn't going to admit to it. Never. I never admit to anything.  
  
I'm not like that.  
  
Now at this point your all thinking "Oh my god, I've had a million of these crushes. What is she on about?" And I don't blame you. Everyone has crushes like this. I have. You have. Everyone.  
  
It's normal.  
  
But this one wasn't normal. Something was wrong this time. Because I really liked him. I did. He was everything I'd ever wanted in a guy.  
  
Perfect.  
  
Ideal.  
  
I didn't have to make anything up.  
  
And it was the most wonderful feeling in the world for a while. To know someone like him was out there....  
  
And then I woke up. And he wasn't there. He wasn't going to be there. Ever.  
  
And that's when it started to get scary. 


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Sorry it's taken me this long to write another chapter. I was thinking of not continuing this story but I've gotten so many more lovely reviews that I expected (seeing as I didn't expect anyone to read it) that I guess I'll go on.  
  
Happy New Years is right. Not happy at all.  
  
My new years resolution was to stop with god damn obsession once and for all.  
  
Do you know how long it took me to break that resolution?  
  
Guess.  
  
An hour and a half.  
  
Only a fucking hour and a half.  
  
That has to be a record.  
  
That's what happens when you drink three glasses of champagne. Next thing I know I'm looking at a picture of him. I must have stared at it for an hour at least.  
  
Then I realized what I was doing. But it was already too late....  
  
Chapter 3  
  
My mom and I have an interesting relationship. We're very close. We talk about everything. I can tell her everything. Except when it comes to boys.  
  
My mom has a very interesting, and I'm sure very thought out, theory on boys. This theory is that if she hasn't seen them in flesh and blood - they don't exist.  
  
Meaning guys in movies, actors as it were, do not exist.  
  
If she asks you who you like and you say to her "oh I thought so and so was very cute in such and such" she immediately gets very defensive and says...and I quote: "Well, but he's not a REAL boy."  
  
Now I'm pretty sure and tell me if I'm wrong here that most actors are REAL boys.  
  
Exactly what is a FAKE boy may I ask?  
  
Anyway, because of this theory my mother does not approve of having crushes on actors.  
  
Or at least not one's she hasn't already approved as crush worthy.  
  
There's your problem right there.  
  
You see, my mom and I have a slightly different taste in guys. Not only that, but, as with the guy on which this very story revolves around, I tend to fall for a guy because of his personality...  
  
...and learn to live with his looks later.  
  
Luckily my mom is also not very err...perceptive.  
  
So she hasn't noticed yet.  
  
Which is good.  
  
Seeing as I'm much past my one year anniversary.  
  
But at the time it was very hard, because her "prejudice" meant I couldn't show any of my affections.  
  
And that just sucked.  
  
I couldn't go out and rent his movies and I couldn't have any pictures of him lying around.  
  
Oh well I did have a necklace.  
  
A necklace with his name on it that I made.  
  
I don't wear it anymore though because I tend to get death glares from her if I do.  
  
She gave me hell for making it, but I eventually convinced her that it was not referring to him but was an inside joke between my friends and I.  
  
Which wasn't a complete lie.  
  
I hate that necklace.  
  
Maybe if I had never made it, everything would have been different.  
  
Maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad...  
  
...so fast.  
  
Maybe I would have stopped loving him so much.  
  
Maybe Aurora never would have.... 


End file.
